Matters of the Heart
by SiniseSnakeEyes
Summary: Rewrite of the series which focuses on Tony. Tony has a few heart problems - parallels to the movie - that he tries to hide from the others. Slash later. (Stony)
1. The Avengers

**_Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Avengers EMH or the Iron Man Movies..._  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 1: The Avengers<strong>

The fight against Gravaton was won and Tony was really glad. He could not imagine what would have happened if this fight had lasted any longer since his armor was nearing the point where it would drain his live energy support system.

Luckily the others did not know of his little problem or they would not have agreed on the whole Avengers thing. Another possibility was that they would have worried every time they would fight another villain or even worse wouldn't let him into the team. Not that Tony was a real team player but he had been honest when he said what they could achieve together.

After they had all agreed to meet in a week in front of the Stark Mansion, which Tony would rename into the Avengers Mansion. Tony was the first to excuse himself from the place where they had taken down Gravaton with the excuse that he had much to do to be ready in a week. The real reason was that Tony had only 5 percent left in his armor and he didn't want it to reach the critical point in front of the others.

He reached his lab just in time. He took off his armor in blink and linked himself up to Jarvis to charge his 'battery' as he called it. He sighed in relief as he felt the pain lessen and as soon as he was able to he called Pepper to organize everything.

They had much work to do or to be more precise Tony had to work on the mansion while Pepper rescheduled his meetings and took care of the financial aspects of Tony's new project.

* * *

><p>Pepper did not seem pleased with Tony's idea to upgrade the mansion by himself in only a week. She even went so far to insult him on the phone. But Tony could hear her concealed concern for his health since she knew he would probably work himself to death to finish at the deadline.<p>

Another thing he could make out in her voice was that she seemed relieved that he wouldn't fight completely alone any more.

* * *

><p><em>One week later...<em>

Tony was finished in every sense. He had given it all to finish the mansion in time and had really done it.

Now he was exhausted and needed to change the core in his arc reactor. As soon as Tony was finished Jarvis spook up: "Mr. Stark, I want to inform you that you missed your meeting and that you are late for your meeting with the other Avengers. They are already waiting at the front door."

"Thanks Jarvis."

Tony put on his Mark VII and took the secret exit to leave the mansion.

As Jarvis had told him the others were already waiting and the Hulk did not seem happy about it... so he apologised and took them on a tour through the mansion.

As they had reached the living room Hank asked Tony if he had wasted the whole week to organize this and Tony grinned inwardly. He had saved the best for the end and showed them with pride the basement. The astonished faces were payment enough for Tony and he was really glad that they liked it.

The Hulk seemed to be the only one who did not enjoy the tour and he also seemed grumpier than usual. Tony could only hope that the Hulks mood would change with time since Tony had decided to live at the mansion too. He thought that it would be a good idea since he had now most of his equipment there.

Stark wanted to talk to the Hulk since he was part of the team, but Pepper stopped him before he could even take a step to follow the Hulk. "Tony you have work waiting for you at Stark Industries. I know that you worked the whole week at this..." she spread her arms out to indicate the things around them and carried on: "... but you have also a responsibility to your company!"

Tony knew that he couldn't argue with Pepper in that point even if he was stone tired and left the mansion to take care of his other business.

* * *

><p>To Tony's surprise Nick Fury was waiting for him at the Stark Tower to talk about the Avengers.<p>

He went on about how he would support the decision of Tony and the other Avengers from the shadows since he wasn't legally allowed to do that. Of course Tony did not buy Fury's story. The man had always something on his mind when he said things like that.

Luckily Tony did not have to put up to long with Fury since Pepper rescued him, by interrupting his 'meeting' with head of S.H.I.E.L.D., even if the reason for this interruption was definitely not good

"Excuse me, but I have to talk to Tony in private. It is really important!" said Pepper as she stepped into the room.

Tony took that as a cue to get Fury out of his office. "That's no problem. Mr. Fury wanted to leave anyway, isn't that right?"

Fury gave Tony what was supposed to be a death glare but he left anyway. As soon as he had left Tony's office Pepper told him about the Hulks rampage and Tony called the other Avengers.

"Avengers Assemble!"

* * *

><p>He arrived at Central Park in the right moment to try to stop the Hulk from "smashing" Thor into pieces – though Tony doubted that the Hulk would succeed with that - while he was trying to calm down the Hulk Jarvis picked up some strange energy reading that surrounded the Hulks head. Tony was thrown aside like an annoying fly and had an unpleasant contact with the ground.<p>

Wasp distracted the Hulk while Tony stood up and turned around to Thor who now standing behind him. As he told Thor about the energy readings around the Hulk that matched Thor's hammer, the Asgardian told him about dark magic that seemed to control the Hulk.

Said green guy ran towards them to attack them but Hank as giant was there to stop him even if it was only for a short moment.

They tried to stop their green team member but were badly beaten. At the moment where the Hulk wanted to smash Wasp he came to reason by himself and ran away.

Tony's only comment to the whole situation was "That went well..." and at the same moment an axe penetrated his armor. He fell to the ground and realised that his suit had taken so much damage that it was running now through his life support system. While Tony tried to get up without using too much energy – every movement hurt but he still had to get up to help the others – a woman in green and gold walked towards them with a really big guy at her side.

Jarvis voice broke his train of thoughts – as he concentrating on getting up: "Sir, I recommend you to get out of the armor. It has taken too much damage to function on its own and is draining your energy!"

"Tell me something I don't know..." Tony muttered, but still got up on his feet even thought a bit unsteady.

He heard Thor talking toward the woman and interrupted them. "Wait a moment you know these guys?"

"Aye, they are Asgardians like me. Her name is the Enchantress and he is her Executioner."

The Enchantress attacked Thor with a spell which enabled him to move and her Executioner swung his axe towards the still unsteady Tony. Tony wanted to use his repulsor but it was not working. "Great!" he exclaimed sarcastically. To Tony's luck Janet came to his rescue and distracted the Executioner from his original target. Hank – still a giant – came to support her and she flew back to Tony.

"Iron Man, now would be a good time for some kind of... something!"

"Sorry Wasp..." he panted – it really hurt trying to stand and talk, it draining him even further. "... armor has... not enough power... need some kind of... recharge."

As soon as he had finished saying this, the Enchantress captured Wasp and her minion had pinned Hank – who was now back to his normal size – under his foot.

The Executioner wanted to cut of Hank's head with his axe as the Hulk re-entered the scene and stopped him.

This interruption broke the spell that was on Thor, his hammer and Wasp, and they were free again. Thor summoned his hammer which flew directly towards him and as soon as it was in his hands Thor used it to create clouds with lightning. And this lightning fell down onto Iron Man!

While the Enchantress was mocking Thor that he had missed her Tony's armor rebooted.

"Sir, the armor has now 14 percent energy to work by itself. But I would still recommend getting out of it as soon as you can, sir."

Tony ignored the AI and resumed the fight against the Enchantress and her Executioner with the other Avengers. It took them a while but after a hard fight they had taken down the two evil Asgardians who turned tail and ran.

After the fight was over the Hulk left the team. He thought that they believed him to be a monster which was definitely not the truth. Tony knew that the Hulk was no monster since he knew Bruce Banner personally he could not believe that his alter ego was evil or a monster, maybe misunderstood but not evil... He still let the Hulk go to sort this out for himself.

The remaining Avengers returned to the mansion since they now all lived there.

Tony excused himself from the others and all but stumbled into his workshop. Jarvis had reprogrammed the machine that takes his armor off to do it at twice the normal speed and Tony was glad for it.

The moment the armor was off Tony collapsed on his knees and crawled towards his desk where he changed the chore of his arc reactor.

That finished he slid to the ground leaned against his desk and closed his eyes.

He felt like shit. His attempt to stand with such a damaged armor had not been one of his best ideas. He still felt as if his heart was beating to slow even with the strain of the armor gone and a replaced arc core, it would take a few minutes until it would be at a normal pace.

During this wait – for his heart to normalize itself – he heard the sound of the small wings from Janet's Wasp form as it grew louder which meant that she was on her way to Tony.

Maybe it would be better if she would not see him sitting on the ground. With that thought in mind he pulled himself up and into his chair and this just in time. The moment he sat, Janet – now back to normal size – had punched in the code to open the door to Tony's workshop and stepped into the room.

"Tony, are you alright?"

Tony turned his head towards her and gave her a small smile – that he hoped didn't look like a grimace. "Sure. Why shouldn't I?"

Janet gave him that I-do-not-believe-you look, but replaced it after a second with a faked thoughtful look. "Hm... Maybe because your armor was heavily damaged and the Hulk left the team right at our first official day as a team?"

Tony cringed inwardly at the last part. It was true, their first day and the Hulk had left them already... Maybe him being the (unofficial) leader of the group was not such a good idea... Before he could continue this train of thought Janet interrupted him with a loud: "Stop that! I can almost see the wheels in your head turning. Listen Tony, it's not your fault that he left us, okay?"

Since Tony didn't want to argue with Janet and because he was too tired to – he just nodded.

Janet seemed a bit relieved by that and began to turn around to leave as she suddenly stopped and turned fully back to him. She gave him a strangely familiar look and it took him a moment to place it. It was the same look Pepper and Rhodey give him when they are worried about his health.

"You seem a bit pale and the circles under your eyes are darker than usual... Are really alright?"

He gave her a sweet smile. "I'm perfectly fine. Just a bit exhausted after this fight, but who isn't?"

Janet did not seem to be convinced but left it at that and left Tony alone in his workshop.

As soon as she was gone Tony laid his head on his desk and sighed. That was a bit too close. It would definitely not get easy to hide his problem from the others... but he would still try to leave them in the dark as long as possible. He definitely did not need any more people on his list of concerned ones.


	2. Captain America

**Chapter 2: Captain America**

Tony woke up with a silent scream on his lips.

As he sat up, he realized that he was soaked in sweat – again. These nightmares came every time he tried to sleep for more than just a few hours and this was part of the reason for Tony's dark circles under his eyes...

He looked at the watched that was on his night table: 3 at the morning, too early to wake up the others. They had decided to search for the Hulk as soon as Hank was fit enough to go with them and today was the day.

Tony left his bed and went into the bathroom to take a cool shower. He let the water run down his face and stood there a while.

After he had finished, he put on his clothes and went into the kitchen where he made himself some coffee. With the coffee cup in his hands he took the elevator down to his workshop to get his thoughts of the nightmare. He didn't know how long he sat there just working on some electronic device he had designed till a voice broke the comfortable silence.

"Don't you ever sleep? And here I thought that I was a workaholic."

Tony set the goggles he wore on top off his head and looked at the person who said it. It was Hank, already in his uniform but with totally uncombed hair.

"Sleep is overrated. What about you? Couldn't sleep anymore or have you slept in your lab?" From the look Hank gave him it was definitely the last option.

Hank walked towards Tony and grabbed a nearby chair. "What are you working on that is so important to stay up in the night?"

Tony looked at the device in his hands and then looked back up at Hank. "It's a new communication device that I wanted to give to Rhodey..."

Hank gave him a small irritated look. "And that is so important because...?"

Tony look back down and tinkered some more on the device. "No real reason. It just has to be done at some point."

"But I'm sure Rhodey would understand it if he would have to wait a bit longer for it and I don't think that he would want you to exhaust yourself..."

Now a nerve snapped in Tony's mind. Why did everyone have to worry about his health, Pepper, Rhodey, Janet and now Hank, even Jarvis would sometimes express some kind of concern and he was an AI for god's sake! "Why does everyone always care about my health? I'm fine, okay. I don't need babysitters. I didn't need them as a child and I definitely don't need them now as an adult!" Tony realised that he had raised his voice with every word that came out of his mouth and that he had stood up. He was also panting a bit – seemed like he needed to change the core if he couldn't even shout loud without exhausting himself.

Hank seemed a bit shocked by Tony's outburst and tried to get the situation under control. He couldn't have known that he would strike a nerve with speaking his concerns out loud. "I'm sorry Tony if I said something wrong..."

Tony took a deep breath. "No I should be the one apologising. I should not have shouted at you... I'm sorry but I need a few minutes to myself."

Hank understood and stood up from his chair to leave. "That's okay. I had planned to go upstairs and eat some breakfast anyway. Will you come also to breakfast before we leave?"

"... Maybe... Not sure."

"Okay... I will see you later." With these words Hank left and Tony pulled up his shirt to remove the arc reactor to change the core...

* * *

><p><span>In the Avengers kitchen:<span>

As Hank stepped into the kitchen he found Thor and Janet already sitting at the table talking.

"Good morning!"

"Good morning Hank."

"Good morning, Ant-Man."

Hank went to the coffee machine and made himself some of the black drink. After that he joined the others at the table and stared into his coffee mug. What had gotten into Tony? He never loosed his calm demeanour since he wanted that everyone sticked to the believe that Tony was a heartless businessman. (Why was another question for later to think about...)

Janet and Thor seemed to realize that something was bothering Hank and Thor spoke up first.

"What is troubling you, my friend?"

Hank sighed. Should he tell them? He was pretty sure that Tony wouldn't want the others to know about his little outburst but something didn't seem to be right with Tony...

Before he could decide if he should answer or not Janet spoke up. "Is it about some project of yours or it about...Tony?"

Hank's head shot up at Tony's name and that was answer enough for Janet but Thor didn't seem to understand.

"What is wrong with our Iron friend?" He looked back and forth between Janet and Hank.

Janet answered first. "Remember the day the Hulk was controlled by the Enchantress?" Thor nodded, of course would remember that. It was only a few days ago. Janet continued: "After the fight Tony excused himself as soon as we had reached the mansion and went down to his workshop. I was worried and went down to make sure he was alright since he had taken massive damage during the fight and there could have been the change that the axe of this Executioner guy had penetrated the armor..."

"Yes, I understand your concern Wasp. ...Now that I think about it he seemed a bit disoriented... But please continue with your narration."

"Well, as I said I went down. In the workshop I found Tony slumped in his chair. He seemed pretty exhausted. I talked a bit with him and when I wanted to leave I realized something didn't seem right with Tony. He was much paler than usual and the circles he has under his eyes seemed even darker than normal. When I asked him about it he said he was 'fine'." As she said the last word Janet made some quotation marks in the air and carried on. "I didn't want to annoy him any further and left him alone to give him some time to himself. That was it for me. The next day he seemed to be back to his normal self so I didn't mention it to you..."

"My encounter with Tony today wasn't that much different. Well, except you let it count that we didn't go into a fight yet and that Tony actually lost his cool demeanour in front of me..."

Thor and Janet looked a bit dumbstruck by that revelation.

"I have never seen our Iron friend lose his composure..."

"Me neither and I know Tony a bit longer than you, Thor. I saw him cracking stupid jokes in bad situations to conceal his actual thoughts but never losing his composure... What did you say to him to make him lose it, Hank?"

"Well, I just told him that I was sure that his friend Rhodey wouldn't want Tony to work on something for him when it was clear that Tony definitely needed sleep and then literally sprang out of his chair and then he shouted ait me. Asking why 'everyone' was always concerned about his health. He wouldn't need a babysitter, never had and never would... He was breathing extremely rapid after that as thought as he would have fought against... I don't know Gravaton or someone like that..."

"Wow, okay that was weird... I mean, you and I were the only ones in the last few days that asked if he was alright, weren't we?"

Hank shook his head. "I don't think that it was only about the last few days. That outburst seemed like he had wanted to shout these words for a long time at somebody..."

"Hm, something is definitely affecting our comrade. Maybe we should confront him about it."

"I don't think that this would be a good idea, Thor. Tony is the kind of guy that really likes his privacy even if the public doesn't sees it like that. All they see is a rich playboy that the boss of a really important company."

"I agree with Hank. If Tony wanted to tell us he would. We should put any pressure on him."

"If that is the best course of action, then so be it."

As soon as they had agreed on that, Tony stepped into the kitchen. He was already wearing his armor except for his helm. "So, who is ready to pick up our missing team member?"

Thor stood up and the others followed his example.

"Lead the way my friend!"

Together they went to the fireplace where they took the elevator down to the hanger.

Janet and Hank took the Quinjet while Iron Man and Thor flew by themselves.

The team followed the trail the Hulk had left behind and ended up in the arctic. Some native people showed them the direction where they had last seen the Hulk and the Avengers continued on their way until they came across the weak life signal of Captain America. Iron Man cut the ice with care with his repulsors so that they could take the Captain into the Quinjet where they could melt the ice.

As soon as Tony was finished it was Thor's turn to lift the ice block, that contained Captain America, and carry it into the plane.

"Ant-Man, Wasp, Thor, I think would be wise call of the search and return to the mansion so that can look what we can do for Captain America."

Everyone agreed and they took off to return to their headquarter. While they were waiting to reach New York City, Tony took off his armor so that in case Captain America would wake up during the flight – which Tony thought as highly unlikely but he had been wrong before – that he would at least see a human face instead of a robot.

When the ice had molten Tony could see that Captain America was coming around and would wake up any second now.

Steve Rogers, also known as Captain America, woke up startled still screaming Bucky name. The first thing he saw as he realized the change of scenery were some people that looked extremely strange. One was dressed in almost nothing but red with a bit of black and a strange helmet on his head. Next to this man stood a man – or woman? – who was taller than the man in red and wearing even stranger clothing and helmet with wings on it.

As soon as he saw them his soldier instincts were kicking in and he threw his shield, that was located at his side, at them.

A male voice let his presence be known from behind the Captain and Steve's first reaction was to ram the table he had laid upon into the person who had spoken up. When he had done that he realised, that he was staring into a face that seemed somehow familiar and at the same time it 'didn't ring a bell' as you would say.

The man he was staring at had deep brown eyes that seemed young and old at the same time. No, not old – tired...

The man opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Steve interrupted him.

"Who are you? What is this place?"

"I think my comrade could answer your questions better Captain if you would press that table into him..." said the man – and it was definitely a man because of the voice – with winged helmet.

"I agree with Thor. I don't think that Tony will get any air if you pin him down like that." chimed in the other man as he stood up.

Steve returned his attention back to this 'Tony' he had rammed the table into. 'Tony' wore a strange black suit(?) with blue markings on it but it did not seem to be any kind of armor and the man looked a bit ill with his pale face and the dark circles under his eyes so Steve lessened the pressure he had on the table. If they would attack him he would fight back but as long as they didn't make the wrong move...

Tony took a deep breath as soon as he was able to. "Thanks, I really needed that air." He said with one of his famous smirks which fell when he saw that Captain America only waited for him to make a wrong movement so he began to explain everything to the Captain.

* * *

><p>As he had finished his explanation they were already landing in the mansion where Tony gave Steve a tour and showed him a room he could use if he wanted to stay. Tony tried to gave Steve a short summary in history and told him that if he had any questions he could ask Tony or one of the other Avengers.<p>

"I know that it whole thing has to be hard on you but I want you to know that – if to – you could always become part of the Avengers...But I won't force you into it. It's your choice."

Before Steve could make a reply Tony's communicator sprang to life. "There's an emergency! You can tell me your answer when we return, alright? Good!" With these words Tony all but flew down the stairs to put on his armor. When the Avengers were ready to leave Tony told Wasp to stay behind in case Steve needed something – and if it was 'only' someone to talk to – and stay on call in case they needed backup.

"No problem, Iron Man. Kick their ass for me!"

"Will do Wasp!"

And then they were already on their way.

* * *

><p>The fight against Doughboy didn't go well. Thor's hammer only strengthened the monster and Tony's repulsors weren't really affecting it. Only when Wasp together with Captain America came to help them, they finally found a way to defeat this slimy mud monster.<p> 


	3. Time for a break, or not?

**_Note: I hope you will like it. ^^_**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3: Time for a break, or not?<strong>

A few weeks had already passed since the first meeting between the Avengers and Captain America. Now Tony and Steve were sitting in Tony's workshop where the Avengers leader explained their newest member step after step about the technological advances that were achieved in the time Steve had been frozen.

Steve learned really quickly but there were always some part where he would be completely lost since Tony had the tendency to go into 'techno babble mode' as Wasp had once called it.

But that wasn't a bad thing to Steve since he really liked to listen to Tony when he was speaking with such passion that he always showed in cases where electronic things were involved. Besides, Steve could not see enough of this glint in Tony's deep brown eyes...

If Tony wasn't busy explaining something they exchanged personal information like for example their likes and dislikes and Steve even told Tony about how he became Captain America and about the Second World War itself.

They would talk about these things freely but Tony was really clothed mouthed about his reason to become Iron Man. He had told Steve only that he had been kidnapped in Afghanistan and there had happened something that 'opened his eyes'...

Hank and Janet had told Steve – on their own accord since Steve would ask personal question behind the one who was concerned – that Iron Man had first appeared after Tony's abduction in Afghanistan. Of course they hadn't known that Tony was the one in the suit and they only learned about that fact after they had agreed to become part of the Avengers. Tony himself was never talking about the time of his imprisonment and the only people who seemed to know a part of the story were Tony's secretary Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, Tony's best friend James 'Rhodey' Rhodes, Tony's driver Happy Hogan and even Jarvis seemed to know something. So it were only these people – or in Jarvis's case AI – who Tony put great trust in.

But since Steve didn't want to lose the bit of trust he had earned so far by digging deeper, he let the topic fall and concentrated on getting to know his new teammates.

Tony was explaining him how his repulsors worked as Wasp flew into the room. The two of them hadn't even heard the door opening so much had they been in their own little world...

"Guys, guys! I just had a great idea!"

"What is it Janet?" asked Tony in a polite but still slightly irritated voice.

Janet grew back to her normal size and leaned on Tony's workbench.

"I just had an idea how we could introduce our Captain here..." she gestured at Steve "to the modern world without boring him to death by your techno babble!"

Steve wanted to put in that he wasn't bored by Tony's explanations – even if he did not understand everything he was told – but Janet didn't give him a chance to do so.

"We could watch some movies together!"

Tony looked at Janet as if she had grown a second head – which was not as unlikely as it sound since the encountered every day strange things...

"...And that is your 'great' idea? Watch movies?" Tony asked with disbelief clearly in his voice.

"Yep! And don't make that face Mr.! We don't have to watch movie every evening – since that wouldn't work anyway – but we could at least make it one evening in the week!"

At that Tony's facial expression relaxed a bit and smiled while said: "Okay I can live with that as long as I don't have to be the ones who tell Hank that he has now an evening less to work on his projects."

Janet smiled back at him. "Oh, don't worry about that. It will be my pleasure to inform him."

Now Tony's smile transformed into a grin. "You can be really evil if you want to, Janet."

"I know." And with that Janet shrank down – with a grin similar to Tony's – and flew away.

Steve looked still a bit perplexed from what just happened but Tony seemed unfazed by it and returned back to his devices on his desk.

"So, Steve what movie genre do you like?" asked Tony while he was working.

The one spoken to snapped out of his daze. "Oh, äh... I think I could like anything..." '...As long as you are in the same room.' The last part he added silently and blushed slightly at his thought.

In the few days Steve had already been part of the Avengers, the only major mission had been the one against Doughboy and Zemo and luckily it had gotten quiet after that. It was a perfect opportunity for Steve to learn everything about this time without interruption. In this 'break' Tony had taken Cap under his wings and gave his best to make Steve feel welcome – on the team **and** in this time.

The two were now sitting in comfortable silence together – the only noise was Tony tinkering on some invention of his – and Steve watched in awe how Tony could grab things without losing his focus and without looking up.

It felt only like a few minutes but it probably were a few hours until the voice of Jarvis broke through the silence.

"Sir, I want to remind you that it's time for your meeting."

Tony stopped what he was doing and looked up. "Thank you Jarvis."

"What meeting?"

Tony stood up and looked at Steve. "It's just some business meeting that I have to attend. I'm sorry but I have to get ready. You can stay here if you want to."

"No thank you. I wouldn't know what to do here and I don't want to disturb your 'order'. I think I will train a bit in the training area. But I will see you off."

With that Steve stood up. Tony just shrugged. The two took the elevator upstairs and Tony went to his room to change his grease smeared clothes.

A few minutes later Tony came down the stairs. "I hope it won't take long. If you want to we can train a bit together when I come back."

Steve smiled at that. "Of course we can train together that will give me the chance to show you a few techniques to improve your fighting skills."

Tony gave him a fake hurt look. "Hey! I'm not that bad!"

"Sure, whatever you say." They laughed as they walked towards the door. Steve winked as Tony climbed into the car and did it until the car was out of sight. After that Steve closed the doors behind him and got ready to go into the training room. When he stepped into the training area he found Thor already there training at Level 2.

"Can I join you Thor?"

The Asgardian stopped another incoming missile before he looked towards Cap and grinned. "Captain! Of course you can, my friend! Together we will show this program of Iron Man who the better warriors are!"

* * *

><p><span>At the same time at Stark Industries:<span>

While Tony was waiting for Simon Williams who wanted to talk to him, he was busy working on some systems of Stark Industries. Together with Hank, as Ant-Man, they were working on it when suddenly Pepper announced that Simon had arrived.

The talk did definitely not go well. One reason was that Tony was a little distracted while talking to Simon. Then there was Simon who was really upset about Tony buying his company and of course there was also Tony's way of phrasing his sentences. All in all it was a catastrophe where Tony didn't even get the chance to tell Simon that he did not want to 'destroy' Simon's life work.

* * *

><p>How had Tony's day evolved from a good talk to Steve to a bad start with the one person he wanted to work with? And Tony's day got even worse! He got his armor taken apart and it seemed like he was also at fault for Simon becoming a being of ionic energy and later dying because of this physical change.<p>

Now Tony had barricaded himself in his room where he was staring at his ceiling and naming to himself what deaths were all his fault.

He **really** wanted something to drink... but he had sworn himself not to reach for a bottle since he had a responsibility towards the team. However, if he could not have a drink then maybe working on something would somehow distract him from his faults but he wasn't in his lab and since he didn't want to run into the other Avengers, he couldn't leave his room...

He didn't know how long he was lying on his bed staring at nothing but the whiteness of his ceiling until a knock on his door broke the depressing silence.

"Tony? Are you in there? If you are could you please open the door?" It was Steve's voice and even with the door deadening his words Tony could clearly make out the concern in them.

But since Tony wanted to be left alone he didn't give an answer... After a while Steve seemed to have enough and sat down, leaning on the door and talked from there.

"Hank told me the whole story of what happened... It wasn't really your fault, Tony... Maybe you could have taken better care of what you said but you could not know that Simon would instantly go to someone for superpowers – that were instable – to destroy you..." Tony couldn't take it anymore and interrupted Steve. "How can you be so sure? In this world someone should foresee things like that since they are part of the daily routine! I... I should have foreseen this!"

"And then what? Try to stop Simon from making a mistake?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Tony... you can't change the past. That's what **you** said to **me** when I woke up the first nights here at Avengers Mansion from nightmares and screaming names of fallen comrades. You said to me: 'No matter how much we want to, we can't change the past. Even if we had the chance to... we shouldn't. It would only make matters worse in the present!'"

Tony listened to Steve as he threw Tony's own words back at him. Even with Cap saying that to him Tony still felt like he should have done something different...

After a few minutes of silence between the two men Tony stood up and opened the door. Steve almost fell backwards but luckily he found his balance again before he landed on his back. He stood up and turned toward his friend. What he saw shocked him a bit. Tony locked completely devastated with his hair standing even more in all directions and his eye circles were even darker than normal. His shirt was crumpled and the top buttons were open which gave Steve a change to take a look on Tony's normally hidden chest. What he saw shocked Steve even more... In the middle of Tony's chest was a big round... something which was shining in the same blue light that the thing on Tony's armor was always gave off.

The person standing before Steve seemed to realise on what he was staring and tried to turn away from Steve to hide – whatever it was but Steve stopped him by laying a hand on Tony's shoulder. "Tony... what... what is that?"

Tony tried to brush him off while he said. "It's nothing."

"That's not 'nothing'! Tony, please." Steve gave Tony a concerned look that at the same time said that he wouldn't let that topic drop until he would get an explanation from Tony. Tony sighed and invited Steve into his room and Steve followed that invitation.

As soon as Tony had closed the door – and locked it – he turned around to find Steve giving him that I'm-waiting-look.

And Tony began his explanation. He told Steve that the arc reactor powered his suit. But he didn't tell Steve that the arc reactor was also the one thing that kept him alive since Steve would only worry even more about Tony than he already did.

After he had finished his half-truth Steve seemed a bit suspicious. "Why do you have to... wear this arc reactor when you don't have your suit on? What is it you're not telling me?"

Tony tried to give him an answer without letting on that he wasn't telling the truth. "I told you everything. It's just that the arc reactor is hard to remove and since I don't want to have a hard time with removing it, I just let it where it is."

Steve still didn't seem convinced and gave him a stern look.

They sat there a while in silence with Steve giving Tony _that_ look and Tony trying not to blurt out the truth to the one he considered his best friend – and more. In the end the 'fight' was won by no other than Cap and Tony gave in. He told Steve the story about his abduction in Afghanistan and what happened while his imprisonment. He even told Steve how he had escaped with the help of Yinsen.

When he had finished he realised that tears were flowing down his cheeks and he angrily wiped them away. A few seconds later Steve was already kneeling before Tony and reaching for his friends hands. He held them in his and tried to cheer the man up.

After a while Tony had gotten the control over himself back. "I... I'm sorry that you had to see me like that..."

Steve gave Tony a soft smile. "Hey, what are friends for? They listen to each other's problems and lend the other a shoulder to cry on if they need it."

Now Tony gave Steve a tiny smile – which seemed exhausted but truly honest. "Thanks."

"Do you want to do something? We could go eat something since you look like you haven't eaten anything for a while..."

"...Sure, why not."

"Okay that's settled then. I will wait downstairs for you."

And with that Steve left Tony to himself.

A few minutes later Tony came down the stairs and they went to a restaurant that was one of Tony's favourites. There they had fun together and talked about topics that had nothing to do with death and destruction.


	4. Gamma

**Chapter 4: Gamma**

****_First of all I want to apologize that I took so long t_o _update but I had a major writer's block._

_But I think that's over for now - or at least I hope so. _

_**Note:**__ I will skip the 11__th__ episode, so this will take place after the "Panther's Quest".  
><em>

* * *

><p>When the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents said they needed the Avengers help Tony and the others were a <em>bit<em> sceptical of what they needed help with. When S.H.I.E.L.D. asks for help it's never a good thing and that for sure.

And oh how Tony wished he had been wrong! A gamma dome with gamma radiated man/monsters inside... just their luck and they had to go inside to clean S.H.I.E.L.D.s mess, just what Tony always wanted to do. He could scratch that from his 'things that I always wanted to do that had to do with S.H.I.E.L.D. list – or more exactly: not!'.

Once inside it went as already predicted like a total disaster. They lost Wasp to the gamma radiation and were beaten badly. If it hadn't been for the Panther, Thor and Dr. Sampson then they wouldn't have made it.

But compared to the 'second wave' as Tony called that situation at the dome was as easy as pie.

When the second wave hit they were totally unprepared and Tony's heart fell like it would burst. The splinters near his heart felt as if they could penetrate his heart any moment while he transformed into a giant stupid... well you could call it a beast and the cables of his arc reactor and armor spread through his whole body while growing in sync with it.

To be honest Tony didn't remember much after that only that he attacked Thor and helped the Leader of all people! He was really grateful that Thor together with the Hulk and Hawkeye achieved it to foil the Leaders plans. He really didn't not want become ever that stupid again and have no control over his body!

When they all were again gamma free - and the Hulk had rejoined the team while he got Hawkeye to join too – they finally went home.

They used one of S.H.I.E.L.D.s planes and T'Challa was flying while Tony played co-pilot. During the flight Tony grew paler by the second and on his forehead formed sweat.

"Are you alright, Stark?"

"Huh?" Tony snapped out of his staring at some point at the window and looked at T'Challa who gave him a concerned look from the corner of his eye. Tony gave him a smile that should support the words he was going to say next: "Yes, of course!"

The king of Wakanda didn't look convinced but still he let the topic fall and Tony was really grateful for that. It took all his strength not to lose consciousness and he still would have to get to his workshop - where J.A.R.V.I.S. could take a complete body scan – without giving a clue to the others that something wasn't alright with him. And with the stare he felt at the back of his head he had already failed the not-giving-anything-away-agenda thanks to T'Challa. If looks could burn through things then Tony's head would have two big holes in it already and he was sure the one giving him that look was none other than Steve Rogers aka Captain America himself! _Oh joy!_ Tony groaned inwardly. Steve could be the worst mother hen if he wanted to be!

While Tony's thoughts wandered how he could keep Steve of his back, T'Challa was already landing the plane at the Avengers Mansion.

As soon as the door of the plane had opened the Hulk together with Hawkeye left said plane to hunt the mansion and the others followed at a slower pace. Tony said in the seat a moment longer before he too left the plane.

His steps were slow and if you looked closely you could also see that they were a bit unsteady. If it wasn't for the armor Tony would have already collapsed on the floor. At times like these he loved his creation even more than he already did even if it could also come closely to kill him if his arc reactor had not enough energy left... but that wasn't something Tony wanted to think about right now! His only goal at the moment was to reach his workshop without being seen by Steve or one of the others.

* * *

><p>It seemed like a miracle to Tony that he didn't run into someone of his teammates on the way and when he stepped into his seemingly 'holy chamber' - as Thor had once called it when Tony had told the god of thunder what that room was to Tony – he was greeted by J.A.R.V.I.S. voice. "Good day sir."<p>

Tony was too exhausted to great the AI back and preferred to slump down on an operating table that he had in a corner of his workshop. The AI got the hint and directed the robot dummy to help Tony shed his armor while J.A.R.V.I.S. took scans of Tony's body.

When the AI spoke his voice was laced with concern: "Sir, it seems that I have to inform you that the splinters travelled further near your heart when you were exposed to the gamma radiation!"

That was exactly what Tony thought that had happened; he only felt that much like shit when the splinters travelled further.

"C-Can..." Tony's voice cracked a bit and he tried to form the sentence again with short breaks. "Can you... give me something to... lessen the... pain?"

J.A.R.V.I.S. seemed shocked for a moment since Tony never asked for pain medication! The AI had given up hope long ago to convince Tony to take some if he sustained really bad injuries, so Tony must either feel like death himself to ask for it or he was already so much out of it that he didn't really realise what request he just made. And from the face that Tony made it seemed to be a combination of both. So J.A.R.V.I.S. gave dummy instruction to give Tony the requested medication and sealed of the door so that no one would disturb Tony while he would rest...


	5. Worries and no solution?

**Chapter 5: Worries and no solution?**

_**Note:** Sorry it took so long! I was really busy and didn't know how to end this chapter. I'm not totally satisfied how it turned out but I will try to make the 6th chapter better._

_And before I forget it: Thank you very much for your reviews! I'm really happy that you like my story!^^_

* * *

><p>Steve wandered around in the mansion in the search for Tony. It would be an understatement to say that Steve was worried; he was just a few centimetres away from pulling at his hair out of frustration. During the flight T'Challa had asked Tony if he was alright and of course Tony had said he was but Steve had heard a slight strain in Tony's voice and even without seeing his face he knew that something was off.<p>

When they had landed he had left the plane with the others he had hoped that Tony would come to him if he needed help. He was so naïve! As if Tony Stark (!) would come to anybody for help or even confess that something is not all right!

Steve was searching the whole mansion for the man he called friend and in the process he had run into Thor who volunteered to search for Tony in the upper parts of the mansion while Steve would search the basement.

First stop in the basement was Tony's workshop but instead of a door that would open for him as usual said door was closed.

"Uh… J.A.R.V.I.S.? Why is the door not opening?"

The AI didn't answer him and that made Steve worry even more than he already was. Instead of freaking out he tried to address the AI again: "J.A.R.V.I.S. I asked you a question: would you be so kind to explain me why the door won't open?"

"Master Stark ordered me to." was the short reply Steve got and these five words said him that Tony had to be in there!

"Can you please open the door for me? I want to see him."  
>"See who, sir?"<p>

Steve couldn't believe his ears: the AI was playing dumb! "I want to see Tony!"

"I'm sorry sir but he is not available right now."

"And why is that?"

A few seconds ticked by till the AI settled on the response: "He is working on something and he doesn't want to be disturbed."

"You know what JARVIS, for a brilliant AI you're a really bad liar. Now tell me what is really going on before I lose the last of my patience!"

Another few seconds went by till the AI sighed in defeat. "Your latest mission left Mr Stark… exhausted and he will need a lot of rest before he can go back to fighting criminals."

Well that statement didn't help Steve to ease his nerves, at all. "Can I see him?"

"I'm not so sure that…"

"Please JARVIS!"

"…Alright but please let him rest!"

"Of course."

Finally the door opened and Steve walked right in.

"He's in the back." The AI said helpfully.

Steve murmured a "Thanks" and quickened his pace in the given direction.

What he saw shocked him. If Tony had looked pale during the flight back to the mansion then he looked now like death himself.

"Oh Tony… JARVIS will he be alright?"

"As I already said sir: He will need a lot of rest before he can be described as 'fit for duty'. But since I know Mr Stark well enough, I think I can say that he won't give himself that rest… Captain, you will have to promise something. Mr Stark doesn't like it when someone sees him like that – which is why I didn't call Ms Potts – and he doesn't like it to worry other. That is one reason why he won't tell you or the rest of the Avengers when he isn't well but don't tell him I told you that. Just promise that you won't tell no one - and mean **no one** – about his health!"

While the AI had said that Steve had grabbed a chair and sat down besides Tony. He took the inventor's right hand in his own and said: "I'm not comfortable with that… but I promise. I will also look after him so that he won't overdo it."  
>"Thank you Captain."<p>

Steve sat there holding Tony's hand in silence for a few minutes till he remembered that Thor might still be searching for Tony since Steve hadn't informed him that he had found him already.

So he stood up and turned to leave but before he left he took one last glance at Tony.

"JARVIS please inform me if his condition changes."

"Of course sir."

With that he finally left the workshop and this time in search for the god of thunder.

* * *

><p>When Tony regained consciousness he felt a bit better than before. He didn't feel like breaking down and sobbing disgracefully like a little child because of the pain and that was definitely an improvement.<p>

Another thing he realised was that his right hand felt like as if someone had held it.

"JARVIS…?" croaked Tony.

"Yes sir? How are you feeling?" The AI asked with concern clearly in his voice.

"Better… Was someone here?"

"Ah, well… Mr Rogers was worried about you and he wouldn't leave till he got to see you o I let him in but I made him promise not to tell anyone."

"…I see."

Tony sat up and swung his legs slowly over the 'bed' and stood slowly up.

"With all due respect sir, I think it would be better if you stayed in bed."  
>At first Tony didn't acknowledge the AI's words, only when he had almost reached the door he said: "If I have to stay in bed JARVIS I at least want to do that in my bed in my room."<p>

With these words Tony stubbornly left the workshop and went upstairs to his room in the mansion.

On the way to his room he hadn't as much luck of not running into one of his teammates as when they had arrived at the mansion. Without really realising it he ran into something – correction some_one._

"Man of Iron!"

'Oh just my lucky day.' Thought Tony but said out loud: "Hey Goldilocks!"

"Are thou well my friend you look a bit pale." Asked the god of thunder concerned when he took a closer look at Tony.

"Yes I'm alright, just a bit exhausted nothing what sleep can't cure." Lied Tony with a (fake) smile on his lips.

"Well then I then I won't hold you up to replenish your energy!" boomed Thor – his voice was really loud and Tony hoped that the god would learn one of these days to speak less loudly since his head would be really glad about that.

"Yeah well I'll be going then." And with that Tony walked away from Thor and straight to his room where he let himself fall onto his bed.

Before sleep took him he murmured: "JARVIS be so kind and lock the door and let no one in till I tell you."

"Of course sir."

* * *

><p>Steve was in his room drawing something on the block Tony had got him right away when he had heard that Steve loved to draw, when JARVIS startled him from his concentration.<p>

"Captain I want to inform you that Mr Stark has awakened and went to his room to rest there. He wants to be left undisturbed."

Steve looked up from his block and said: "Thank you JARVIS."

"No need to thank me Captain."

Since Tony wanted to rest – which Steve was really grateful for – Steve began drawing once more…


	6. A chat with Happy

**Chapter 6: A chat with Happy**

* * *

><p><em><strong>I am so sorry for the long wait! I really had lost my muse and I hope you can somehow forgive me! I rewrote the chapter so many times that I can't count it and now I just hope you like it! But just to warn you: I am not sure when the next update will be on this story since my muse is really running away from me (come back, please!) concerning this story. So I will apologize in advance if I don't update any time in the future!<strong>_

_**That said: I hope you will enjoy it nonetheless...**_

* * *

><p>"Man, I'm finished." Said Tony when he slumped in his chair – what looked a bit uncomfortable since Tony had his armour still on.<p>

The others nodded in agreement and Steve gave him a questioning look to enquire if he was alright to which he nodded slightly – he was just exhausted like them all.

They really had had an exhausting week: first Panther's request for help in Wakanda – which had ended with T'Challa joining them – and then the thing with this 'Gamma World' that Leader had created which had lead to the Hulk returning to the Avengers and Hawkeye joining them too.

By the way... where were the Hulk and Hawkeye?

"Has anyone seen Hulk or Hawkeye?" asked Tony the others.

Everyone, except for Thor, shook his or her heads. The god of thunder said: "When we returned I saw Hulk and our new comrade taking the elevator down to the training area you have created."

Tony groaned and took his head in his hands – a gesture that looked a bit unnatural with his armour still on.

"I just hope they don't destroy too many levels..."

Before he could say more Jarvis voice filled the room: "Sir, Mr Hogan is waiting outside for you with the car."

"Thank you Jarvis." And to the others he said: "I'm sorry but I have to go." With these words Tony stood up to leave.

"Where exactly are you going if one could ask?" asked Janet while her eyes followed Tony to the fireplace where the elevator down was hidden behind.

Tony stopped for a moment to give her an answer. "I have some business – that Pepper only told me today about without giving any real details – to attend to. Something about my Malibu house... It may take a while but if any pressing matters show up I want you to know that you can always call me."

"You can count on it that we will my friend. I wish you a safe trip." Thor said while Janet said at the same time: "Have fun!"

Tony took the elevator down and the others scattered throughout the mansion.

* * *

><p>Tony stepped out of the Avengers mansion with one of his suits – except the jacket - and a bag in his hand. He was surprised to see someone standing next to Happy talking and laughing: Steve.<p>

When he walked towards them Happy saw him and raised a hand and Tony mimicked the gesture with his free hand.

"Hi Hap."

"Hey Boss."

"Steve."

"Tony."

"...Okay, not to be rude but... what are you doing here?"

Steve scratched his neck and stated the obvious fact: "I was talking to Happy here while waiting for you."

"Waiting for me?"

Was that Tony's imagination or did Steve really blush a bit?

"Well... I just wanted to see you off..."

For a few seconds Tony didn't say anything and Steve wondered if he had said something wrong.

"...Do you want to accompany me?"

Steve was taken aback by this sudden question and he opened his mouth but no sound came out of it.

Meanwhile Tony continued his suggestion: "You could see something different than New York for once in a while and I think that the change of scenery would be good for you..."  
>Finally Steve's voice seemed to have returned and he blurted out. "Sure... I mean, that would be really nice... the change of scenery I mean... I..."<p>

On Tony's face grew a smile while Steve stumbled over his words and he cut Steve off before he would stumble even more over what he wanted to say. "Well if you want to come with me I think it would be best if you pack a few things. Happy and I will wait out here while you do that."

"Yes of course. I will hurry up with it." And with these words Steve was already halfway to the mansion, which left Tony and Happy alone at the car.

When Steve had closed the front door behind him Happy spoke up. "I can see why you like him so much..."

Tony's head spun to his driver/boxing teacher/friend.

"He is definitely different than other the people you're normally interested in Boss. And I don't mean that he is a superhero. You can see that he really cares about you not like the other women and men that usually accompany you – they are only interested in your status and money... but he isn't and I think that is what makes him so special."

Tony blushed slightly and cleared his throat. "...Hap I want you to promise me something."

Happy looked at Tony with a puzzled look and said: "And what kind of promise would that be?"

"... Promise me that you won't make any comments that could give Steve a hint that I like him on a higher level than friendship."

"Why?!"

"Because Steve is certainly straight... And even if he wasn't Fury is already breathing down my neck when it concerns Steve. He doesn't want somebody like me to 'dirty' his golden boy."

Happy gave Tony a I-can't-believe-you-just-said-that-look that almost rivalled Pepper's. "Since when are you concerned of what Fury thinks and wants Boss?! You never care what others want you to do. You are Tony Stark! The man that stopped producing weapons right after he returned from Afghanistan and didn't give a shit that other people like Obadiah Stane wanted to stop him!" At the mention of Stane's name Tony involuntarily shudder, the nightmare from a few days ago still fresh in his mind. Happy saw Tony's reaction and started instantly apologising. "I am so sorry Boss, I didn't mean to mention him…" "It's all right Happy. You are right with what you said: that is not my typical self but I think that maybe I am afraid to lose Steve's friendship if I told him of my feeling and I don't want that."

Happy looked at Tony and laid a hand on his shoulder. "I understand Boss. Maybe one day you can gather the courage and tell him."

Tony gave a small disbelieving laugh. "Yeah, sure." Before the two could continue their talk, the door of the mansion opened and Steve stepped out with a duffel bag in one hand.

"I'm ready."

"Okay! Then let's go!" Tony and Steve sat in the backseats while Happy drove them to the airport. Once there, Tony's private jet would fly them to Malibu where Pepper would already be waiting for them.

* * *

><p>As it turned out the 'business' that Pepper had talked about had definitely not been what Tony would have expected to be waiting for him at Malibu: a few days off from work, which meant: a few days <em><strong>alone<strong>_ _in_ _Malibu_ **with Steve**! Oh he was _so_ doomed…


End file.
